The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize