she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
