i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
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