ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
