Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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