is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I take back everything I said about communal showers
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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