Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
