She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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