You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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