before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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