So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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