it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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