she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
