so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize