Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
