Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize
