I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
