we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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