"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
