in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
