I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
