Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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