I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
