is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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