Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
