Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Randomize
