ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
