Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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