k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
