I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
