wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize