Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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