Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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