I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
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Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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