I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
