Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
