He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize