come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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