Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
My vagina is very pro this idea
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
