And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
You're like the curious george of whores
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
