i think i have two assholes
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
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