she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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