tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
He has the fingertips of a God
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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