but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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