Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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