your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
