I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
