Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
