so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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