Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
