i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
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