I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Life is so much better after having sex.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Randomize
