Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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