it hurts more in the daytime
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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