He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I think I have vodka in my lungs
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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