I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
