Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
