3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
im holly from the hills drunk
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
