Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
