Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
